Today I want to talk about confidence. Something that I didn’t always have but has grown over the years due to some decisions that I have made. Confidence is a word that is part of my dictionary. And of course I do have my days where my confidence has flown out the window but I still manage to get it back up. And if you’re currently at a stage in life right now where you don’t feel confident, then I hope my major keys today will help you blossom and get that confidence right up.
1. Eliminate the toxic people and roll with legit people instead or simply roll solo
If you can do this very first step, I’m telling you, mentally you will be in a much better place. In life we seek approval from other people… directly or indirectly. If you think about it, that’s how life works. We are constantly being ”jugded”. Whether it’s an job interview, the pictures we post on social media, friends, family you name it. BUT it is important to know which ones to appreciate and the ones to eliminate. Hanging around with toxic friends will always make you feel less of a person. You will feel like you are not pretty enough, smart enough, strong enough, bold enough to do whatever you want to do in life. Toxic friends are … yes toxic. They can crush you confidence that’s in you. It might sound harder than it is but seriously, moving away from friends that don’t lift you up, accept you as you and not trying to get the best out of you are friends you don’t want to have at all. Instead, roll with like minded people who are driven, motivated, open minded and caring. The ones that are honest and give constructive criticism. That can be family members, friends, colleagues… Who-ever. Those are the ones you should appreciate.
Also, there is nothing wrong with riding solo as well. I’m someone who likes other people’s company but I love my own company too. When I roll solo, it gives me space to think about things that I want to do, it gives me space to be creative, to reflect. So learn how to enjoy the company of YOU too. This has helped me a lot.
2. Look back at what you’ve accomplished
What has helped me grow my confidence over the years is reflecting. Reflecting back at what I’ve accomplished so far in my 26 years on planet earth gives me confidence that I can do whatever I put my mind on to it. Maybe you’re at a phase in life that you feel like you haven’t accomplished much. What you have to do is to set a goal for yourself and work towards it. That can be something short therm or long term. Whatever you feel like accomplishing. I’ve had people questioning my move to London to do my masters, I’ve has people questioning the fact that I have a blog, I have people questioning why for so long I didn’t have a boyrfriend. Sigh, I have people giving me a high eyebrow for loads of things. But besides the boyfriend part, when people said NO I wouldn’t talk, but in my head I would be like ”watch me”. I would still pursue whatever I have put my mind on it. 1 – for myself, because I want to do it and secondly, to prove other people wrong #thatfeelsgood.
3. Love yourself, no matter what
Another key to confidence is to have self love. That kind of love for your self that even people want to be part of hahah. All jokes aside, it all starts with self love. It might sound corny or like ”duh” but I guess at times it’s something that we often battle with. If we have self love we have confidence. If we don’t, that’s where we lose our confidence. For example, I have been juggling with my weight and body at times but you know what. Even during the phase of eating well and going to the gym, I have learned to love myself now, in the process and whatever the end result will be. Just always have love for yourself.
I remember when I didn’t feel confident that I had a big forehead, I saw it as a (big) flaw. If I didn’t have a hairstyle that would cover my forehand I would feel so ugly. I remember also not feeling confident with my bigger bum. Whenever I would wear jeans, I would need a vest or a long jacket to cover it cause I would feel like a hippo. To this day I’ve had people telling me I’m weird and sometimes yes it would get to me. But hey you know what, the fact that I’m here on my blog boldly confessing this shows me I have moved passed it and I’m in a complete different stage in my life where it will take more than people disliking parts of my body, calling me a weirdo or people saying I can’t achieve certain things to bring my confidence down. I want you to truly believe in your strength, ideas, dreams and body. No one can give you as much love as you would give yourself love. Work on that relationship first and trust me, everything else will follow.Also as a Christian, my relationship with God has been involved in these 3 major keys as well. And as this relationship has grown, my confidence has been growing along with it as well.